Wednesday, May 25, 2011


This is an easy one, a cop-out, maybe.

A douchebag
If you are a douchebag, I hate you. Any not in the 'haters gonna hate' kind of way. I hate you in the 'I find your very existence appalling' kind of way. No one likes douchebags. I don't like douchebags, you don't like douchebags, douchebags don't like douchebags. These "people" are easy to tell apart from others because of their uniform. The douche uniform is generally as follows:
  • Spiked up hair or maybe a faux hawk of some kind
  • Sickly looking orange skin
  • Over-sized white-rimmed sunglasses
  • Lip gloss
  • Giant fake diamond earrings
  • An Ed Hardy or MMA shirt or wifebeater, possibly with rhinestones
  • Designer jeans, also with rhinestones
  • If in a car, it likely has a 'su-fi' or shocker decal on it, and they will be blasting shitty house music for everyone to enjoy
Notable douchebags include, but are not limited to, Kanye West, the entire cast of Jersey Shore, Carrot Top, just about every politician, Ashton Kutcher, John Mayer, and people who ride loud motorcycles.